Okay so basically I’ve been in many failed relationships with a capital F (lol). One thing I can’t say is that I regret any of the time I spent dating. Through all the hurt and the pain it has definitely pushed me to a greater joy. GOD. Sometimes you ask yourself why me? I can’t say how many times I actually just wanted to crawl in a hole and rot in my depression. It’s because of God that I keep pushing forward. I wish I was able to function the proper way that relationships are called to function, but sadly I could not. Would I ever change that? NOT AT ALL. What I’ve learned from all those things is how to form an actual relationship. WITH GOD. I have to say sometimes I want to go back to old things and when things were “good.” Of course that is the carnal part. I go over the scenarios in my head, but don’t know where to turn. Now I know. It all heads back to one place. GOD. I want to fall in love with the Lord. Seek his face like never before. He is my provider and makes sure I have everything I need. Why not seek a relationship with the person that made me. I love doing his work. It puts a smile on my face and gives me such joy. Having faith in the Lord is trusting that he will give you the desires of your heart. Those desires are ones he has given you. God can give you things that no one else can. Today I was amazed when I read the whole book of Phillipians. While sitting in the jail Paul said that he realized everything he went through was for the salvation of the Lord. He said that in death or life Christ would still be magnified. Just to die was a gain to him. He was happy knowing that in death he would get to be with the Father. It really blessed me, really it blew my socks off. God is so so AWESOME!!! You may have thought I was going to boo hoo! No, this note, this writing, everything I have faced up until now. It is all for his glory! My life is his glory! As his creation, I am his glory! I will probably have a sad feeling toward the people I used to talk to for a little while but in this season I’m taking the time to heal and work on getting to know the Lord for the final four months. Whew! Can’t believe there is only four months left in this. So I may be done by March. No matter what I will always spend my life getting to know the Lord better. We are not only God’s children but also his creation, a light, his light to the world. Images of him breathing, walking, and talking everyday. Christ may be gone, but aren’t we called to live Christ-like lives?! A piece of him is walking around in all of us! Just by writing this I’m learning so much. So don’t worry my loves, if ever you may have had a failed relationship it is not the end of the world. It may hurt and you are going to need time to recover. In that time just allow the Lord to fill your heart with his love. Wait on him. Simply that will take you far.
A personal thank you to all my ladies who have helped me this far (blows kiss). I love you all. I share my story to encourage you all. Hold your head up and keep moving. :*
Friday Dec 12 @ 03:52amI honestly watch this video everyday and I love it! I listen to it to where it has sunken into my spirit!
Friday Dec 12 @ 01:09amI Will Wait For You - Janette…ikz (Official P4CM poet)
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Thursday Dec 12 @ 11:22pmThursday Dec 12 @ 10:41pm10. take care of your appearance .
9. wear a smile.
8. get out of your chair and exercise.
7. never build yourself up by putting others down. it doesn’t work.
6. be yourself. no need to fake it.
5. carry yourself well. you were handmade by God.
4. look beyond you and celebrate the…
So what is the inner you like? Is she shy, quiet, creative, a genius? What can we do to bring her out? In my personal walk and with help from the Lord, I have learned to tap into a creativity I never knew I had. I learned how to botch up my clothes to make new outfits. I watch the style of others and add my own little flavor to it. So what can we do to get to tap into that real you? First we have to see what is holding you back! Are you placing yourself in a box? Don’t be afraid to show the world who you are. Do you want your future husband to know the real you that he is going to see the rest of your lives or the you that is hiding herself on lie on top of lie. Begin to confront that issue now or it will be hard for you to embrace that inner you. Next think about what makes you smile, what makes you happy. How do you like to express yourself? Write it out, even if it is a long page just do it. Don’t trap yourself in a box! Don’t limit who you are for the graticfication of others. Next practice doing those things that make you who you are. Don’t be afraid to step out of the house in your style. Whether that be a big afro, a boho look, or bright makeup. After saying all this always know what works for you. If you know that you just want to do the same look little Susie is doing because it gets her attention and you don’t feel comfortable in it, DON’T DO IT! Stick to what makes you uniquely you. We are all created in God’s image, but remember we all have different fingerprints, DNA, and the way we think may not even be the same. All these things are what make you who you are. So go ahead girl and embrace it. Make sure you are comfortable in your skin.
So what do I say to you all today? What do I tell those of you who are struggling and looking for answers. Well how about I share a personal battle of mine that I pray will encourage you all further.
For the past two years I have been dealing with an emotional struggle. I have been getting over a past relationship that has had its ups and downs. On Sunday my pastor was preaching on the title, “Excuse Me, I Came to See Jesus!” In this sermon he was teaching (I use this instead of preaching because he was not just talking to us, but really laying down some real truth and showing us how we should begin to worship God) about the woman with the Alabaster Box. He described what she was doing as a form of worship, while the disciples were familiar with his presence she wasn’t. There was worship in the way she BROKE the box of alabaster and poured it over his feet, the way she washed his feet with her tears, and the way she dried his feet with her hair! What was so key about this was how he continued to say about what happens when we are truly worshiping GOD. Sometimes we begin to cry without knowing why. Well I went up to the altar for prayer, the way I usually do. This time was different. It was an experience unlike any other. I opened my mouth to say what I needed prayer for and nothing came out. Next thing I knew I wasn’t just crying. I was sobbing! I was sobbing and really could not figure out why. GOD had given that woman the words that she needed to pray with me. After praying I was still worshiping. When that song “Bow Down and Worship Him” came on. I did just that. I was there for a while. I really do not know how long it was, but I had an expectancy that the FATHER was about to do something different in my life. Since September he has been giving me dreams about moving forward and I’d had a dream the night before that was residing in my spirit. Monday came and felt like another day, but I had decided to listen to the CD about emotional baggage that my mentor had given me a few weeks ago. THAT CD CHANGED MY LIFE! I was literally crying again because I was re living all the pain that I didn’t want to re live. I was afraid to visit that place again, which many of us are when it comes to re living hurt and past pains. But there lies your breakthrough. Although I was sad and I was crying, I was still walking with the Lord while I was re living it. He was right there by my side. It gave 10 steps to getting to that breakthrough. I’m still taking it step by step because no one ever said it was going to be easy. Being a Christian is the hardest lifestyle to live. I had done my crying, wrote every emotion I had and pain that I felt toward that individual and burned it. That was my way of releasing that pain. It became nothing but ashes. Moving forward throughout the week became so much easier. When I thought about that individual the Lord was able to help me redirect my thoughts to him, and last night for the first time I was able to fall asleep with peace in my heart and thinking about the Lord. It was the most amazing feeling. Today with my Christian girlfriends I shared this experience and testimony, and they shared theirs. I Thank GOD for these ladies who have encouraged me in more ways than one, and now it is my turn to encourage you all.
Seek GOD’s face. He says in His Word: But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and the rest will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33
I know you can do it! Run after Him! How often do you run after a man or woman you want and not after the FATHER who is our creator. Stretch yourself toward the LORD without regard for those around you who may mock you. Take the woman with the alabaster box as a illustration. She stretched herself to see Jesus. She kept pushing through. We often times say we are just going through a situation. Can’t you see? You are going THROUGH! You are not stopping, you are MOVING FORWARD! Worship GOD and seek His face, and you will see: there is NO LIMIT to what He can do! You are His beloved daughter or His beloved son. He loves us more than we will ever know or comprehend. He’s just waiting on us to seek His face.
Your flesh doesn’t want you to get your breakthrough. You have to break through a flesh wall to get to him. She broke through them to see Jesus. Break through that obstacle that is hindering your from seeking him and reaching him. There is no doubt in my mind that you can’t do it. Speak Life into that thing. Say it with me, “I can do this. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!” He wants to bless you, you just gotta keep pressing forward. Just a while longer. My question for you is: Will you press through with me? Will you join me in pressing through our situations? Will you seek His face and let Him bring you to a higher level. He loves you so much! He just wants you to seek after HIM and depend on HIM!
I dedicate this blog today to each of my Christian Girlfriends: Tiphereth, Jaylun, Precious, Jelissa, Charlisa, Crystal, Joyia, Victoria
I really love these wonderful women of GOD! I encourage you all to get people who can be accountable for you. We all need that accountability. If you don’t know where to find it, keep praying for it. Don’t give up! Press through that wall!
I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. Philippians 3:14
Love you all! <3
